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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699395">Little Girl</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemSanzo291/pseuds/FemSanzo291'>FemSanzo291</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keeping Secrets [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Child Abuse, Dubious Science, F/M, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Kid Tony Stark, Prosthesis, Songfic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:35:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemSanzo291/pseuds/FemSanzo291</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alea Carter was done with everyone telling her what she could and couldn't do. She was not obligated to listen to them, was she?</p><p>Or the story of why she finally was done living in the same house as Howard Stark.</p><p>Songfic based off "Little Girl" by Faith Marie.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Howard Stark/Maria Stark, Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keeping Secrets [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1354684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Little Girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I would suggest listening to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEGGgnO4_2E">Little Girl</a>, because it is what started this thing. </p><p>Also if you want someone to blame for this fic blame <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akabara_13/pseuds/Akabara_13">Akabara_13</a> cause she was the one to send me this song.</p><p>This fic takes place from 1973-1975 with flashbacks going as far back as 1964.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alea Carter was sitting with the only people that she would even consider friends, her school's science team. They were talking about what they were going to be attempting for the school’s science fair that year. It would be the last year that all of them would be together and they wanted to go out with a bang. Alea was explaining something about her idea when one of the other girls said, “You’re getting carried away there, Carter. There’s no way that’s possible.” Alea shut her mouth and wiped away the drops of spit from the notebook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it is! I’ve already done the calculations!” The other kids were not really looking at her. Alea felt for her mental link with her brother, the three-year-old’s mind much calmer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Ed, it’s alright if people don’t listen to you, they just don’t understand how our minds seem to like working overtime with no pay.” Alea sent along the link to her brother.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the meeting let out Alea walked down the hall with the only one that she was close to on the team, James Rhodes. “You know, I’m done. They don’t listen. All they are saying is that I should wait until these ideas are possible. I don’t think they understand that if I don’t start proving myself to my </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I won’t be able to go home.” Alea scratches at her arms before reaching down and fidgeting with her shirt. Her long hair falling into her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lea, you and I both know that you won’t ever be enough for your </span>
  <em>
    <span>father, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you should take a walk with your brother and take some deep breaths. It will get better for you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea looked at the ground and noticed that they had made it out to the building to the car line. Alea saw Rhodes leave her side out of the corner of her eye as he spotted his parent's car. Alea looked up hoping that she was going to be picked up by her aunt and uncle. It wasn’t to be, seeing as Edwin Jarvis’s car was already here. She walked over and got into the back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was it today, My Dear?” Jarvis asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was alright. They didn’t listen to my ideas again. Well, Rhodey did, but he knows my mind can do amazing things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jarvis pulled out of the school's parking lot before speaking again. When he did he had a sad smile on his face. “Why don’t you try to bend to meet their expectations a little. You have a good friend in Mr.Rhodes, have him bring your idea up to the rest of the team. If they still don’t like it, at least then they’ll have listened to your idea.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jarvis. That might work.” Alea smiles into the rearview mirror so Jarvis can see it. He smiles back at her as they pull into the driveway leading up to the Stark Mansion. He gets out and opens the door for Alea before waking up beside her up to the front doors. They both walk into the very large mansion at the same time and Alea could smell alcohol in the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It seems that Mr.Stark has gotten drunk again.” Jarvis’s easy smile was gone. “My dear, please go find Master Anthony for me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea nods before heading up the steps to the second floor. She slips silently down the halls hoping that her brother was either in her room or his own. She stopped first at a plain wooden door. She pushed the door open to reveal a plain room. The walls of the room were bare, there was a desk in the corner, a bed in the opposite corner from the bed and a wardrobe. It looked like a guest room, but due to the books piled on the desk, eighth-grade textbooks, it was Alea’s room. There was movement underneath the bed and Alea rushed over to it and laid down on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked underneath the bed to see her baby brother, Anthony Stark. “Ed, it’s just me.” Alea’s voice was calm and Anthony crawled out from underneath the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy’s gotten drunk again.” Anthony grabbed ahold of Alea’s shirt and wouldn’t let go. Alea didn’t say anything, but they both knew it was true. The fact that Anthony, at three, knew what the word drunk meant saddened his elder sister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not like you didn’t know at that age.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The voice inside Alea’s head said. That voice sounded suspiciously like her father. It caused Alea to think back to the first time she could remember her father being drunk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alea was maybe four years old and was walking down the halls of the Stark Mansion. She was mumbling something to herself as she walked. She smelt something funny in the air and looked around, never stopping the stream of words from her mouth. She sees her father and walks over to him. He looks down at her with a sneer before snarling, “Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl.” Alea backs away afraid, before running off to her room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That hadn’t been the only time those words had come out of his mouth. Any time he’d seen her in the lab or outside playing those words would be uttered. Sometimes he even added on, “Ladies don’t get dirty.” Most of the time that was when she was covered from head to toe in something or another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held her brother as she waited for Jarvis to come up to her room. It was likely that they would be heading to either the Rhodes’ or even down to DC for the night. Maybe they would go to Jarvis' place, but Alea knew that Jarvis wouldn’t leave them here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t very long before Jarvis knocked on the door before entering the room. He had a bag in his hand that Alea was sure held some of Anthony’s clothes and other things. Alea stood with Anthony in her arms and they walked to Jarvis’s car. Alea kept her eyes and ears open for her father coming toward them. They got out of the mansion and into the car without anyone noticing they were leaving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jarvis, where are we going?” Alea asked as she bucked Anthony into his car seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think a visit to Agent Carter would be good for both of you. You’ll stay there until Sunday.” Jarvis answered as he got into the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea stayed silent as she buckled herself in. Anthony fell asleep not long after they got on the road and Alea followed suit, hoping for a dreamless sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Someday you will find your place in the world</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>But ladies don't get dirty</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>With empty faith</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space!” Howard Stark yelled at a young Alea. Alea flinched back from her father. He reached out and grabbed Alea by the front of her shirt. Alea didn’t try and struggle, knowing if she tried to fight back it would just end worse for her. “I’m sorry!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, little girl. Someday you will find your place in the world.” Howard tossed her to the floor and she just stayed there as Howard walked away. After an hour she got up and walked back to her room, silent steps and silent voice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Everyday feels like a battle and I always get hurt</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>I was frequently told violence was never the answer</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alea was standing next to James Rhodes on a playground. There were four slightly older, but much taller kids than the other two. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Little girl, what are you going to do about it?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alea ran up to the boys and punched one of them in the gut. He dropped a small toy onto the ground and Rhodes ran up and grabbed it before one of the others could grab it again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There is no reason to fight kids!” an adult ran up to them and pulled Alea from the boys.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He had to pay! He took Rhodey’s toy!” Alea yelled, but she stayed still in the adult’s grasp.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The adult shook their head, “It doesn’t matter, violence isn’t the answer.” Alea glared up at the adult. “I’ll be telling your father about this.” Alea shrunk down and started to shake scared about what would happen when she got home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>There's a certain kind of darkness that does a reaping</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>It usually takes you right before you are sleeping</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alea was laying on her bed. The lights all off, not even a nightlight on. Curtains drawn there was no hope of anyone being able to see without some sort of night-vision in her room. She whimpered at every creek that the old mansion gave. She was terrified that her father might come into her room, even though he wasn’t even in the country. She was fearful because the darkness led to danger that you couldn’t see, even if that danger was inside your head and trying to get out. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The door opened and in flooded light. Alea hid scared underneath her covers. “My dear, why haven’t left your nightlight on?” Jarvis asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Daddy doesn’t like it when I leave the lights on. Says it waists energy.” Alea poked her head out from underneath the covers.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jarvis sighed and walked over to the far wall where the nightlight was. He flicked it on before walking over to the bed. “Then it’s a good thing that your father isn’t here, isn’t it?” Jarvis sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through her hair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But what if he comes back before I wake up and can turn it off?” Alea’s eyes were wide and her voice pleading.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then, My Dear, I will come in and turn it off. Don’t you worry.” Jarvis sat with Alea until she fell asleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>I don't remember what it's like to see with clear vision</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>I awake every morning like the dead has arisen</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea jolted awake as the car came to a stop, her eyes not focusing on anything. “My Dear, come let’s get you and Master Anthony inside.” Alea then notices that they were parked outside of the house that her Aunt had bought in DC. She nods and picks up her bag and Anthony’s bag as well before getting out of the car. Jarvis got Anthony out of his car seat before they walked up the steps and Alea knocked on the door. It was only seconds before the door was opened by Peggy Carter who took Anthony from Jarvis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jarvis kneeled next to Alea before pulling the girl into his arms. “I must be getting back. I’ll see you in two days, got that?” Alea nods before Jarvis pulls away. Alea watches as Jarvis goes back to the car and pulls out of the driveway. She watches until she couldn’t see the lights from his taillights anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea walked into the house and went up to her room. This room had more personal touches then the one she had at the Stark Mansion: there were a few posters on the wall, more than just school books on the desk in the corner, the bed had a few stuffed animals sitting on it. She placed her bag down on the floor next to the bed before walking down to Anthony’s room and putting his bag on the floor next to the dresser. Alea leaned over the edge of his crib and wished for not the first and definitely not the last that she had been born the opposite gender.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea turned to the door when she heard the sounds that she would always connect with her uncle: the sound of a step matched with the thud of a crutch before the louder landing of his prosthetic leg. She was surprised that he still had it on. Alea waved at him, not risking waking Anthony. He waved back but didn't move on down the hall, instead he walked into the room and stopped just short of Alea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea tilted her head at him, not understanding why he came into the room. He reached out and grabbed Alea's shoulder and tugged her to him. She went willingly, not wanting to topple her uncle. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders when she was close enough for him to do so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, you can do whatever you want. Your gender doesn’t determine what you can and cannot do.” He releases her and Alea turns back to looking at her brother. Eventually, Alea leaves the room with her uncle following her. She shuts the door and heads back to her room. She lays down on the bed and looks up at the ceiling. It was covered in those fake stars that glow in the dark, something that her room at what was supposed to be her home never had. Alea closes her eyes and falls back asleep.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Weeks pass and she talks Rhodey into talking to the science team about her idea. They go with it and it wins the school’s science fair. They go on to win both the state and nationals as well. This means at the start of the Stark Expo that year they are the biggest thing, even overshadowing a lot of the Stark Industries' inventions. It’s there when she’s talking to those who come up to their Expo booth that she realizes that she wasn't the issue, that her </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, we all have to find the light that defines us, not be the light that our parents want us to be,” Alea says to Rhodey as they get ready for the fifth day of the Expo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rhodey nods before saying, “Yeah, that light that has always been there that you have been ignoring you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea nods, and while that day was a good one, that night ended in disaster. The building exploded and Alea was trapped for two days. She was taken to the hospital missing most of her left arm. When she woke up in the hospital she saw her aunt sitting next to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aunt Peg?” Alea’s voice was barely a whisper, but it did catch the attention of Peggy Carter. Peggy picked up the glass of water and sat up the bed before allowing Alea to drink a little from it. “Aunt Peggy, what happened?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peggy looked at Alea for a second before answering, “A bomb had been planted in the main exhibit hall. It went off during the closing hours of the Expo.” Peggy moved to sit next to her on the bed. “What do you remember happening?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember Rhodey leaving with his parents. Me and Ryan were the last to get to put up our bubbles. I was just starting to get out when there was a loud noise, probably the bomb, before the building started to shake and collapse. I wasn’t quick enough with my arm and it got trapped under part of the wall. I don’t remember much else until they were cutting my arm off cause it had been so long since the wall had landed on my arm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peggy nodded and pulled Alea into her arms for a hug. Once Peggy let her go Alea looked at her arm to see what was left of the arm was covered by bandages. She reached out with her other arm to feel the stump. It felt weird even though the bandage. “Alea, don’t put a lot of pressure on it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea nodded and the hospital room door opened as a nurse came into the room. The nurse came over and explained that they would be discharging her if there were no complications in about a week. Alea nodded and the nurse left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over the next week, she saw Jarvis, Peggy, all of the Rhodes family, and Ryan Franklin, the only other surviving member of the science team. She thinks that she saw her father at one point, but she couldn’t be sure and she never saw her little brother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that, she went to DC with her aunt instead of going home. She didn’t go back to school and she learned to live with only one arm even though Jarvis had said that her </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> was working on some type of prosthetic. She got used to her balance being really off and was running through the Carter house not long after. After a while, she even got back to working on something that she had been for a long time, a better prosthetic leg for her uncle. The time spent there was better than any time that she spent at her own home.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>After a full month, she saw her </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> again and her world fell apart. He drags her to the dining room along with a silver case. Alea couldn’t stop her rambling about the prosthetic that she had been working on, “Uncle Dan really likes the design, says that I must get my skills in inventing things from you. That I could be an amazing engineer one-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Howard cut her off with, “Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl. Someday you will find your place in the world, and it won't be as a mechanic because ladies don't get dirty. Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith that someone might like you how you are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea shrunk back and allowed him to do what he came to do. Alea was amazed by the metal arm that her father had made for her. Though she was sure it was done so that he could say that Stark Industries did something good for someone who was injured at the Expo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He left after just a half-hour with his daughter. Peggy and Daniel took her to a SHIELD facility the next week and she underwent surgery to have the arm implanted. This time when she woke she felt a weight on her chest and reached up with her flesh arm to see what it was. It was her younger brother or at least she assumed that was what the small child shaped lump was. The door to the room opened and Alea turned to see Jarvis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dear, it’s good to see you awake.” Jarvis walked over to her and sat down in the chair next to the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Ed on me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Young Master Anthony is on you. I brought him not long after you got out of surgery and he hasn’t let go of you since he saw you.” Jarvis reached out and ran a hand through Anthony’s hair before doing the same to Alea. She smiled at the butler as she brought her arm up to hug her brother.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Alea spent the next few months learning how to use her arm. She went back to school in September starting her freshman year of high school. She was still getting used to her arm, but at home, the verbal abuse and physical abuse was getting worse. At school, no-one paid her any mind, well other than Rhodey and sometimes Ryan Franklin. Her teachers ignored the bruises and she wasn't allowed to go to DC to see her aunt and uncle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, the last day before Christmas Break was her breaking point. She’d walked home from school, Jarvis having told her that morning that he wouldn’t be available to pick her up. She walked into the mansion. Once she was inside she made her way up to her room as quietly as she could. Once there she pulled out her notebook and started to work on sketching out some ideas that had been floating around in her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She heard the door open after a while and turned to see her father. He stormed into the room and grabbed her by her shirt collar. He tugged her up and yelled, “Little girl, you will stay here all of your break, no leaving! Your mind is chaos that should be put down!” He tossed her into the wall before leaving the room. She heard the locks click into place before she sat up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea laid there until she heard the locks open hours later. The door opened to reveal Jarvis. He ran over to her and helped her sit up. “Jarvis, I’m done. I’m leaving.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where will you go, My Dear?” Jarvis asked as Alea moved to grab her thickest jacket and put it on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Anyplace is better than here.” Alea stands and walks down the hall to her brother’s room. He was asleep in his bed. She shook him awake and he looked at her with confused eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on, Alea?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alea slipped into his mind and built a mental wall and put any and all memories he had of her behind it. The memory that she chose as the lock was one of her and Anthony at the hospital after her surgery. She pulled free of his head and watched as his eyes went from knowing who she was to not knowing her at all. She then turned and left the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She left the mansion and didn’t look back at all. As she walked to where one of the homeless camps was she said to herself, “My mind is a mess but I love it none the less, they tell me to hush but my words are all that's left. So on the last page of life written in gold; Don't waste it always doing what you're told.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Six months after running away from the Stark Mansion she was laying in her room at the Carter house. All of her stuff that had been left at the Stark Mansion had been brought to the Carter house at some point while she had been living on the streets of New York. Alea looked at the door as it opened to reveal her aunt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Aunt Peggy." Alea sat up as Peggy walked over to her. Peggy sat down on the bed and pushed Alea so that she was laying down with her head in Peggy's lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Speak all you wish, little girl, someday you will find your place in this world and ladies can get dirty, some to fill the empty faith with strong faiths,” Peggy refutes all the things that Howard Stark had told his only daughter over the years with simple words and a hand brushing through Alea’s newly-shortened hair. Alea fell asleep knowing that Peggy wouldn’t let her </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> come and take her away.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So looking back at my google docs stuff made me realize that I started to work on this fic two years ago now. The original draft for what I planned to be the first chapter is almost unrecognizable as this series at this point due to the fact that Clint was much younger when he met her. But yeah been working on this series for two years now, and only been posting for just under one so there's that.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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